Okay, so I wasn't going to blog again til scrapbooking was over but then I saw Steph's blog. Please don't do that again. I told Mike I would just be a minute on the computer and was there for over an hour in tears. It made me think of Sadie and her when she was born. I knew when she was a week old that something was wrong with her and told Mike. He told me she was premature and not to worry and just give it time. I gave it a month and nothing had changed. I had had 3 little girls in 3 years and I knew she wasn't like my older two girls. She wouldn't look at us. She was way too calm. By the time she was four months old she may have cried a total of 4 times. We could go to church or a movie and she would sit there just as silent as ever and not even move. I even asked my family if they thought something was wrong, but everyone said no. At four months I wasn't waiting any longer. I took her into our pediatrician and saw the PA. I told her I didn't think Sadie could see. She did some tests and told me she thought she was blind and deaf. I knew she could hear because she would react to us talking to her and playing with her, she just wouldn't look at us.
The pediatrician came in and did some tests and said he believed she could hear but he also thought she couldn't see. We immediately got her into a pediatric opthamologist in Provo who said she had delayed vision and also was far sighted and she would get her sight by the time she was six months old and would probably need glasses at that time. We got a second opinion and it was the same. At six months we could tell she was starting to look at things but at that time she couldn't even lift her head off the floor when she was on her stomach. We contacted Early intervention and they started coming to our house every month with therapy that we had to do every day. With the therapy we had to teach her how to put weight on her muscles and push up. Then we worked to rolling over, then to sitting, then to crawling, standing, walking etc. You really take for granted a child doing these things on her own when you have to teach your child each step.
She started to walk at 14 months and we drove her to Cedar once a week until she was three to attend the early intervention preschool there. She still was not talking. When she was 14 months old I took her to a pediatrician and a neurologist from Primary Childrens to have her evaluated. The pediatician said she thought she had mild cerebral palsy and that she had some kind of genetic disorder. The neurologist didn't really agree. We thought she was having seizures and had her tested and she was fine. When we went in for the seizure test though, on the way out of the hospital the doctor walked us to the door and asked us if she had Down's Syndrome. I said no and immediately scheduled the test to find out. Our pediatrician didn't want to run the test because he was certain she didn't have it but I insisted. The test came back fine. I knew there were other tests for genetics they could do but they were very expensive. They test every single gene for some kind of abnormality or anthing wrong. I insisted on that test too. I took a few month to get the results but they were fine too. Primary Children's said we had done all the test we could and just to bring her back about once a year for evaluations if we wanted to because there were no more tests they could run until she showed something to test for. It was dissapointing but then I had a blessing given to her by my dad's mission president. (A whole nother story). To put it into just a few words though he has a gift of healing. In her blessing he said so many things but he told us that there were things wrong with her that the doctors just didn't understand. That was good enough for me.
Just before I had Sadie my sister in law Cherish was due two months after me and found out her baby was going to die. She just wanted the baby to be born alive so they could bless it. They had already lost a little boy born too premature to survive. I remember her telling me that she would take her baby any way it came if it would just live and not die. I have never forgotten that. So I am so glad that my baby is here and growing and learning and doing all kinds of things we didn't know if she would ever do. She talks quite well now and is reading three and four letter words. She is doing so great. Who knows what her potential is in the future or what she will be like. But I am so glad that she is with us and Heavenly Father trusted us with her to take care of her and help her in her earthly jouney whatever it may hold. I can honestly say it has not been easy, but worth it, YOU BET! She is such a special spirit and we love her more than anything.
I also can't end this without telling you how wonderful it is that we live where we do. The school that Sadie attends is absolutely wonderful. She had the best aids and helpers ever. Diana has been with her forever and Sadie loves her to death. Without them Sadie would not make the progress she does. They do not get paid enough for the work they do for her but I know they love to see her progress just as much as we do. The kids are so kind to her and wherever we go are always saying hi to her. I think she is treated better than my other kids at school. We found out at 20 weeks along the cord was wrapped around her neck and it still was when she was born. We don't know if this had anything to do with why Sadie is the way she is and frankly we don't care. Heavenly Father does not make mistakes. Sadie was going to come into the world this way whether it was this or that that caused it and we are just glad she is here is sharing every moment with us! Even when she calls us "Little Shits" or "Buttholes" (first one learned from mom and second from her siblings, of course I am ashamed to say this), we still don't mind. We actually have to hold back laughing when she says it because it is so funny and she has no idea what they mean.
So in closing, reading Steph's blog just reminded me how thankful I am that Sadie is here and we are able to shower her with kisses every day. I would like to add one more thing though and that is to my wonderful husband. When he finally realized that there was something wrong he didn't have a breakdown or anything at all. He just said she is our daughter and it doesn't matter. We will be fine and it doesn't change anything. He is so cute with her and can make her happy even when she is so mad I have given up. She can be quite stubborn at times. Some husbands won't even change diapers. Mike never once complained changing her diapers until she was four years old when we potty trained her. He really is the best husband ever!
